He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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