why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
