plz talk dirty to me
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
