Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
