So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
All I want is dick and wine.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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