i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
