I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
