Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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