last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
