oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The power of my boobs compel you
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
