and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
