Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
