apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
