fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
