If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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