Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
