Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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