She's JV to your varsity
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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