If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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