You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
