Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
