Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
