ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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