Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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