Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
