I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
