Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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