if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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