SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
