k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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