it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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