I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
