I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
