Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
