i don't like sucking hair
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
