I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
