luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
