Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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