What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
