he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
