Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
