She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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