I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
