I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
