I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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