i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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