One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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