No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
