so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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