let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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