yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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