that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize