I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
