just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
